Dear God, It's Me, Catherine

*I realize I might regret this but I believe in being honest and I really hope it can help others to be as well. This is a combination of prayers I have written and spoken. Some are from a little while back and some are more recent.*



Dear God!!!!!

      Would you please tell me what is going on?   Is anything going on?  I guess it could be nothing. You said, "Be Patient."

       You said, "I'm going to teach some men how to pursue and you are going to learn patience along the way."

        Well, I've been learning a lot about patience over the years and I'm just curious, when do the pursuit lessons begin? How long could you possibly intend for this lesson to last? I guess I don't have enough patience yet.

        You keep telling me to allow you to take care of everything but the world says I should be proactive. The world keeps telling me to take matters into my own hands. You keep telling me just to trust you. You keep trying to remind me that I can't see what you see.

         God, how will I ever learn to trust my heart? It has failed me so many times in the past. Will you give me your instincts and your eyes? Help me remember, I don't need to be his best friend. He does not need to know everything.

          God, I say I want to know what is going on but honestly, I don't. I know I whine a lot but I like it this way. It's difficult at times but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I look at it like Christmas. I know the present is coming and I know it's going to be AMAZING and I can't wait to know what it is but I really do want to wait.  I'm sorry for whining, I really do trust you to do your thing.

          In the mean time, thanks for giving me the opportunity to live in the unknown. Help me not to miss a moment of it.

                                                                                              Love, Catherine

*Be on the lookout for part two.  "Dear Catherine, It's Me, God"*


*Disclaimer: I just want to make sure I am being clear.  This is in no way a complaint that there are not amazing guys all around me. I am not whining. I am not asking for anything different. I do not want nor need a change of scenery. That would only add more guys to the list of incredible friends. I am simply being honest about something we all (guys and girls) whine about at times.*

I Am Her...

A work in progress...

I am not a porn star but my friend is.

She is me and I am her.

I have never been a stripper but my friend was.

She is me and I am her.

I have never sold my body for food or money but my friend did.

She is me and I am her.

Do you know her, my friend? 

When you see her

Remember she is me and I am her

---------------------------------------------------

She is someone's daughter.

She is precious and adored.

She was once a little girl.

She danced around the house

And dreamed of big adventures.

Today she is a conquest

An accomplishment

Helping you forget.

She paints on a smile

Plays the part you pay to see.

Gives you everything

And returns with nothing.

One Day...

One day, I will road trip across the country. I will visit Yellowstone, Boston, the Carlsbad Caverns, Chicago, Seattle and the Badlands.

One day, I will learn to sail and will spend a good bit of time just floating in the middle of the ocean.

One day, I will explore New Zealand and Australia. I will learn to surf and go black water rafting in caves.

One day, I might spend some time living in a city, like Philly or New York and I will definitely spend a summer (or more) living at the beach.

One day, I will spend at least a few months living in Italy and wandering through Europe.

One day, I will go to little villages in unknown countries and learn from their people.  One day, I will get to pour into the lives of these beautiful people.  One day, I will get to make a difference.

And one day, I will be the girl who is chosen to love. One day, I will be a wife and one day, I will be a mom.

One day sounds like a great time but I don't envy it any since before I know it one day will be yesterday. Until one day, I'll enjoy the confusion, laughter, free time, questions and challenges that come with this day.