Three Reasons To Be Excited About The Noah Movie

Yesterday morning, I started my day in a foul mood due to some crazy things Christians were posting on the internet about the new Noah movie.  These comments and articles were not from people who rushed out to a midnight showing so why were they so fired up? From what I can gather: they are unhappy an atheist made this movie and they don't like that there will be differences from the original story.  They may have had other reasons but I didn't get any further than that before getting upset. 

Luckily, I am on vacation with some pretty awesome friends and got to rant about it to them. They let me vent and together we came up with tons of reasons why we think the making of this movie is awesome. I am going to give you three of them and would love to hear your reasons in the comments below. 

1. An Atheist found something so attractive about God's story that he decided it was worth the investment of his time and money. THAT IS A WIN!

We should be celebrating the fact that a big time "Atheist" Hollywood director found something so attractive in the story of Noah that he decided it was worth investing not only his time and money but also his career and reputation into making a movie about this short story.  Just to give you a little perspective (and this is just based on a wikipedia search), The Passion of Christ had a $30 million budget. This film, Noah, had a $130-160 million budget. 

What if Christians showed their support of Noah and sent the message to Hollywood that there actually is a market for these films. Maybe more directors, producers and actors would consider it worth investing their own resources. Maybe screenwriters would start reading The Bible in search of new content to write about.

2. For the first time, we can watch a movie based on The Bible with our non-Christian friends without making them feel like we are trying to trick them into salvation. 

This isn't the first biblically based movie but it's by far the first film (I know of) with completely non-religious buy-in.  The Passion, Son of God, God's Not Dead are all movies made for Christians. They are not movies I would ever feel comfortable inviting my non-Christian friends and family to. I know they wouldn't be interested and it would clearly come across as though I had a not-so-secret agenda of coercing them into getting saved. Doing that to them would be insulting.  

Noah, however, opens up a completely different door. This movie was not made by Christians. It also wasn't made for Christians. It was made with a BIG time Hollywood budget, cast and crew. There is, for the first time, a chance that I could watch a biblical movie with friends of all faiths (and non-faiths) and even go out afterwards for coffee and discussion without it being weird or coming across as manipulative. 

3. There are tons of movies based on books and they never get it right, that can be a good thing! 

How many times have you read a book then gone and seen the movie? Let's assume I am not the only one to have done this tons of times. What's the first thing you do afterwards? No matter how good the movie was, you talk about all the ways it was different from the book (or true events it was based on).

"Why did they completely leave out Madge from The Hunger Games movies? Why didn't they have Aslan tell Peter he would have to lead without him in the battle of Narnia? Why didn't Dumbledore freeze Harry in that REALLY important scene in The Half Blood Prince?" 

Usually this is followed by passionate discussion and debate on whether or not these were necessary changes or omissions and often includes someone pulling out the book and rereading sections. If I've never read the book (and it was a good movie), I go out and get a copy or talk to people who have and ask them about it. For the integrity and popularity of the book, this is a good thing. It makes people curious. It opens up dialogue about both the book and the movie. 

As much as we hate the differences, we love them because they give us something to talk about. Why should this be any different with Noah? Are Christians afraid to engage in dialogue about their faith with someone who may not agree or are we actually afraid we may not be able to pick up on the differences because we aren't as familiar with scripture as we like to think?  Either way, our reasons are ridiculous.

Christians should be celebrating the fact that Hollywood is making a movie about an epic story in our Bible. We should be thrilled they are making God attractive in a way that we have failed to. We should be amazed that Hollywood is investing over 100 million dollars into a film that will open the door for us to talk about faith, God and spirituality with our friends. We should be challenged to read the story of Noah (Genesis 5-10). Most of all, before calling for boycotts and making fools of ourselves, we should be open to seeing if there is something God would like us to learn from this movie, from the scripture, and from our interactions with our friends and family.

What do you think? Will you go and watch Noah? What are your reasons for watching or not watching Noah?

"...But Whatever You Do..."

"I get so tired of people turning Dr. King into a dreamer.                               They made him safe. He was a revolutionary."                                                 -Doreen Loury, Sociology Professor at Arcadia University

Anyone can be a dreamer. It doesn't take much effort or skill. There's nothing dangerous, or even threatening, about a dreamer. Defining Dr. King as simply a dreamer is insulting to his memory. Yes, he was a dreamer but so are most of us. What set him apart was his refusal to be satisfied with dreaming. He refused to be refused. He kept moving forward. He continued to march on and requested the same of those around him.

Now some fifty years later, as I listen to the speeches, it isn't just the words of this inspiring man that stand out to me but the passion of the crowds shouting their agreement and I am left wondering, "When do we ever bother to get that fired up about something? What does it take to bring us to our feet or raise our arms with passion?"

We say we care about this cause or that but what are we doing about it? We take a stand by changing our profile picture to some symbol that tells the world (wait, no, tells our friends) we care, by clicking "share" or taking thirty seconds to sign an online petition but all of this just leaves me asking, "Do we actually care?"

Apathy wasn't an acceptable trait then and it shouldn't be now. When I listen to these speeches and hear the roar of the crowd; I am reminded that each of those individuals was also a dreamer who refused to be content with dreaming. They each had a passion inside setting them on fire and pushing them forward. Making a difference, then and now, requires action. We need to discover our own passion, our own fires and start marching forward or taking a stand.

What is it that gets you fired up? What will it take to bring you to your feet? 

Photo Source: www.ThinkAndGro.Com

A Letter To My Non-Christian Friends

Dear Friends,

If you know me, it's probably fair to say you know I'm a Christian (and a fairly odd one at that). This letter is not a trick to convert you but an effort to understand how to respect you, support you and love you better.

I'm always thinking and my brain is always running (even now, after the lights are out and I'm lying in bed). Often I've wondered, "How am I portraying myself? My passions? My beliefs? My values?" And "How am I being interpreted?" I imagine it isn't often the way in which I intended. 

Besides the fact that I volunteer with an organization called XXXCHURCH and spend my free time at porn conventions, I'm a fairly odd Christian because I can't say I always see things in the same way many other Christians do. There are some things I'm completely confident in while others I just can't wrap my head around. I'm often thrown by the arrogant way in which many Christians draw their lines in the sand on issues that I find blurry and confusing. In these moments, I imagine how much more frustrated I would be if I were you. I think of all the things I would like to say to these people and I wonder what you would say if we, Christians, would ever bother to humble ourselves enough to listen, what would you want to say? What would you want the Christians in your life to know or understand? 

I don't know if anyone else will bother to reflect upon your answers, but I can tell you now that I would consider it an honor. 

Thank you for being my friends!

Love,

Catherine 

Did You Know?

What's in store? A life of porn....

I am excited to announce I have been invited to join the XXXChurch team for two incredible outreaches in the next year. First, I will be returning to EXXXotica NJ in November 2012, and in the spring of 2013, I will be joining the XXXChurch International team in Australia.

This type of outreach can be very expensive because "showing up" the XXXChurch way involves actually showing up in the lives of those we are trying to reach, and this means renting a booth at the show. There is also the cost of travel, lodging and the unique "Jesus loves Porn Stars" bibles, stickers and other items we give away to the more than 28,000 people we meet at each event.
The idea of giving to this type of outreach might freak you out. It isn’t the typical and usually comfortable missions work most are used to. This isn’t Operation Christmas Child; we aren’t collecting school supplies, we aren’t giving our doggy bag to the homeless person we pass on the street. Those are all kind acts, but outreach to the sex industry falls in an entirely different category. It takes understanding, investment and time. It involves building relationships with; seeing the beauty in; and truly loving individuals who most deem unlovable, dirty and offensive. But it is needed, desperately needed. The men and women working in this industry (and consuming their products) need to know they are valuable. They need to know they are not failures. They need to know they matter and are loved.

The majority of these individuals were sexually abused as children, they were stripped of their worth and made to feel dirty. Many of them were trafficking victims and have only ever known survival through a world of sex. Most want to leave the industry but feel they have no other means for survival. That’s where XXXChurch comes in. We won’t tell anyone to leave the industry, we won’t tell them to become Christians (honestly, that isn’t our goal), but we will tell them they are loved. And when they ask us what we do, we will tell them: “XXXChurch.com is a nonprofit Christian website with resources for individuals who are in over their heads with pornography and support for individuals working in the industry who are interested in a career change.”

I know what you are thinking, “But your goal really is to get them to quit, right?” No. That is not my goal and that is not XXXChurch’s goal. I want these men and women to know they are valuable. That is my goal. And yes, ultimately as a result of knowing how valuable they are, they will walk away, but if an individual walks away from the industry without knowing their worth, then I have still failed.

So whether you are or are not a Christian and whether you are or are not a fan of porn, if you feel like this is something you can believe in, please consider helping me raise $5000. You can give one time or you can give a small amount each month. Either way, I greatly appreciate it and promise that it will make a lasting impact on someone’s life.

You can give by following this link:
https://www.myxxxchurch.com/campaigns/view/catherinesmith.html


This photo is from EXXXotica NJ 2011. He was the recipient of the final bible we had with us.

Porn, Strippers, XXX... and Jesus?!

      

If you pay any attention to my Facebook posts or News Feed I am sure you have some questions about what it is I was doing in Pasadena last weekend. Actually you probably just have a lot of questions in general about the things I post.

I've been spending the last few months (since November when the above video was made) trying to figure out a way to explain it to all of you. I'm still not sure I know how but I'm going to try.

I believe we, men and women, were created by God to do huge things. We were not created to do life alone. We were created to experience life not only through relationship with others but also through relationship with the one who created us. I believe the best way for us to succeed in life, the best way to do life well, is by partnering with the one who designed us.

I also believe, from my own personal experiences, that many people are believing the lie that they are on their own to navigate life. We (people) are broken and searching for meaning and looking to the wrong things for that sense of worth and purpose. Unfortunately as we search for a means of escape and fulfillment we find ourselves feeling even more alone, let down and unfulfilled.

This longing for love, purpose, validation and value is why men and women work in the sex industry. This longing and brokenness is why the sex industry grosses more annually than the MLB, NFL, NBA and NHL combined. These men and women (consumers and producers/entertainers)are here because they are believing the voice that tells them this is as good as it gets. They are believing the lie that this will bring fulfillment, approval and love. They are also believing the lie that they have to keep coming back to keep that feeling of security, belonging and acceptance from fleeing.

Maybe I haven't worked in the sex industry but it isn't because I didn't believe that lie and I'm willing to bet you have believed it too. The truth is, even if we aren't struggling with bondage connected to the sex industry we do still have an underlying issue that is the same.

And that is why my heart breaks. That is why I am so passionate about this. That is why I must invest my life in these women (and men). Because I can't know the truth and not share it.

I know how I felt as I searched for answers, security, love and belonging. I know how lost I was and I not only see that when I look into the eyes of the men and women I meet at the porn shows and strip clubs but also when I look into the eyes of so many of you, my family and friends. I can't go through life ignoring that brokenness. I can't pretend it isn't there. I can't pretend I don't see it. I can't pretend I don't know.

Oh! And to answer your question about all those crazy posts

and what I was doing in Pasadena....

I'm partnering with XXXChurch.com and StripChurch to provide resources, support, truth and encouragement to men and women affected by involvement in the sex industry either as consumers or entertainers/producers.

XXXChurch.com is a non profit website that provides support through various resources for individuals who struggle with pornography addictions. They also provide resources for family members of men and women struggling with addictions and resources and support for individuals working in the industry.

StripChurch is a partner organization to XXX Church. They reach out to women working in strip clubs by loving them beyond measure and encouraging them through prayer, testimony and God's truths, in order to help them realize how valuable they are.

The Voices In Your Head

What do you tell yourself when you are lying in bed alone? Being left alone too long with your own thinking can be dangerous. If someone else walked up and said these things, how would you react? Would you be offended, get angry, just accept them or agree?  I tend to think we would get angry and offended so why do we allow ourselves to hurl these insults?

In The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe Edmund is put under a spell by The White Witch when he eats the Turkish Delight she gave him.  From that very moment, thoughts that are not his own begin to take root in his mind.  The thoughts are so deceptive and the roots so deep that Edmund is not even able to realize they are not his own.

Be sure you are guarding your heart, your mind and your thoughts. Meditate on the truth so that you will be able to recognize anything that is not. Don't allow your thoughts to become aligned with the enemy. Don't take even one bite of the Turkish Delight (actually don't even step foot in the sleigh). Start speaking truth and stating things that align with you REALLY are!

Challenge: Pick ten things that are great about you and start speaking them over your life daily.  If you are having trouble coming up with ideas, ask a friend or ask me! I think you are great!

Pharisee, Disciple, Believer or Rich Man, Who Are You?

How often do you hear people say,"It was so easy for people who were alive when Jesus was alive. They didn't have to deal with doubt and faith. They could just ask Jesus whatever they wanted." But really was it?

Jesus wasn't the first man to show up and perform miracles, he wasn't the first one to have followers. Just like we often find ourselves saying, "Is that you, God?" The people of his time were doing the same. They wanted to be faithful, they didn't want to jump ahead of God and they wanted Him to fit inside their box of understanding so that they would clearly recognize Him when he arrived.

Before we judge the people of that time for being "completely stupid" and missing the point, I have to ask, 'Haven't we all been there?' Maybe instead of trying to understand, predict or fit God into a box, they could have spent that energy on getting to know Him, His heart, His reactions and His character. If the Pharisees had done this, I think they would have recognized him.

As I dig deeper into scripture, I come across the story of a very rich man (Mark 10).  This man had been "good" his entire life, he had honored his mother and father and been faithful.  It even sounds like he really truly believed that Jesus was who he said he was.  But when Jesus asked the man to leave everything behind and "come follow me" his heart was heavy because he was holding on tight to a lot of things. I don't think the man really believed that any of these material things were more important than Jesus. I just think he was afraid.  It was too much, too fast and Jesus was asking him to dive in way past his comfort zone.  Unfortunately the man missed out on incredible blessings and the greatest relationship he would ever know because he couldn't bring himself to trust. 

I might not be having a problem with an abundance of money but there are things he is continuously asking me to let go of...  some of these things are harder than others to let go of and well... sometimes I have to ask him to pry it out of my hand because I just don't know how to let go.

So if we were each to take a role in the stories who would you be? Would you doubt him? Deny him? Abandon everything to follow him? Chase him down when you had a need? Or decide that following him is just too risky?

5-12-10

Tonight I came across something I wrote in my writer's notebook during senior year of college... 

Why do we all think we need to fit a mold? Why do we buy into the lie that if we aren't a size 3, 120 lbs, tan, gorgeous with the most fashionable clothes, the correct accessories and a man that looks like he was pulled from the most recent Abercrombie photo shoot that there is something wrong with us?  And even when we decide those things are not what we want, we are still not satisfied because we feel judged by the world.
 
And if the pressure to meet the appearance expectations isn't strong enough there is also the expectation of meeting the life stages mold.  Meaning by a certain age we should be finishing college,settling down, getting a job, building a career, getting engaged, planning a wedding, getting married and having children.

So what if I am graduating college after five years and still don't really know what I want to do?  So what if I have walked away from romantic men that melted my heart because something just didn't feel right? Is there something wrong with me for getting irritated when guys constantly read into me being nice and at the same time get irritated with the guys I do like for not being able to tell the difference?

Why do all my friends think that just because I am the token single friend that they should be setting me up with people? What's the hurry?

What if we all made the choice to step out on our own, to face our fears of being alone, to explore the person we see everyday in the mirror, to set goals and accomplish them, to honor others, to make a list (and continually add to it) of the things we love about ourselves, to have the courage to dance, to exercise and eat healthy simply because it makes us feel good, to eat the chocolate cake no matter who is looking, to forgive, to learn to play drums, speak Italian or surf, to take trips with our girlfriends and to be open to love (in whatever form it comes)? What if we stopped saying someday and started saying today?

There's a reason people don't take helicopter rides to the top of Mt. Everest, the excitement isn't at the top, it's during the trials and experiences on the way up.  Today is the day to start enjoying the journey.  Today is the day we will tell our grand kids about.

Is It Worth Losing Your Life?

Last Fall, one of the classes I assisted with was a Driver's Education course. My students had to watch a documentary called, "The Last Text" (It's only 10 minutes, please watch it). It really got me thinking not only about the ways in which I have put myself in danger but the ways in which I have endangered others by texting or calling them when I know they are driving.  But then I shrugged off the feeling because it was just too difficult to break the habit. Plus I figured I was being safe.... Then tonight I came home and found this note from my grand father at the bottom of an article about distracted drivers. I decided that even if I think I am being safe the risk just isn't worth it anymore.

"I'm having you read this because we love you very much + I don't want to go to a funeral."

I never want my attempt to communicate with you to be the reason I never get to speak to you again.  If you are reading this, please know I value your life! There is a huge purpose for it and I don't want anything to get in the way of that. I am sorry for thinking I am smarter than this. Tomorrow everything changes.



Please watch this video and join me in asking the following question with every decision you make in the car, "Is this worth losing my life?" I even challenge you to ask me how I am doing with this because my life and your life is more valuable than checking my email at a red light, letting you know, "I will be right there" or tweeting the most exciting thing I have seen in the last two minutes.

I Have A Team, Do You?

I recently made a new friend. Her name is Donya and she is a writer, speaker and a dreamer. We have yet to officially meet but we started emailing after I read a comment from her on Jon Acuff's blog.

As we began emailing about our passions and similar dreams Donya asked me:

"How on Earth did you find other like minded individuals willing to jump on board? (referring to The You Are Project) I have approached several people about the plans I have and no one wants to really jump in with me. I get a lot of applause followed by 'I could never do that but you can do it.' The thing is, no one can tackle something like that on their own. They need a team. You have a team. I'm in awe...And a little jealous :) Tell me your secret!"

This isn't the complete response I sent her but it was my first thought....

My friends are visionaries.

They see what others can't (or choose not to).

My friends are revolutionaries working for a change.

My friends are dreamers, daring to dream.

They are believers and they are go getters.

My friends dare to ask "what if?" and "why?"

My friends don't believe in "impossible".

My friends don't allow themselves (or their dreams) to be put in a box.

My friends give their all to the causes that speak to their cores.

Donya's statement made me so proud! Not proud of myself but proud of my friends. Proud to know such fantastic people. Proud to be one of the "team".

Her statement also really challenged me. I found myself wondering how much responsibility I could take for the fact that I was surrounded by "like minded individuals". Was this something I had intentionally pursued, was it luck or some combination of both?

But out of it all my focus fell on the following statement, "...no one can tackle something like that on their own. They need a team. You have a team." The words, "I have a team" kept repeating in my head.

I have a team! What a relief to know that I'm not in this alone. I have a team! How encouraging to be reminded that there are people who have my back. I have a team! How fantastic it is to know that I am loved. I have a team. Thank God! And then... I have a team.... Do they know how much I love them?

This isn't just about The You Are Project this is about the team of people who support me throughout my life, people who believe in me, pray for me and challenge me. This is about the people who have sacrificed. The people who have been part of making me, me. Without these people, I wouldn't believe in myself. Without these people I wouldn't know how to show myself grace. Without these people, I wouldn't believe in my ability to accomplish the dreams God has placed in my heart. Without these people, my world would be a very dreary place.

If you aren't in the picture, just know it isn't personal.
I LOVE YOU AND APPRECIATE YOU!

Thanks for being on my team!

 
QUESTION TIME: Do you know who is on your team? Are you strategic about building your team? Do you choose who you surround yourself with or just let it happen?

How much time do you spend with your team?

Does your team all think and believe exactly like you or do you have team mates that challenge you and push you forward?

What types of people are on your team? How many negative people are on the team compared to positive?Who has the stronger voice?  Who is easier to listen to, why?

How many of your team mates are dreamers? How many are not? Are you thoughtful about which of these people you share your dreams with?

What is the dynamic between the members of your team? Do they work together and encourage or just coexist?

Do your team mates know you believe in them?

Do they let you know they believe in you? Have you taken the time to thank them?

Do you believe in you? If not, how do you ever expect anyone else to believe in you?

When you truly believe in yourself, you challenge others to believe in themselves.

By the way, I believe in you!! Don't forget it.



Wishes and Whys

Sometimes what life throws at us is beyond unfair. Sometimes the lemons are so sour we can't imagine ever being able to make lemonade out of it. Sometimes it seems life has conquered us and not the other way around.

Six months ago one of my best and oldest friends died of an accidental overdose. I realize many could read this and stereotype her into a certain image in their heads. But Brandi is more than a statistic. She was a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a cousin, a friend and a mother. She can't be defined by the product of her experiences. I will only allow her to be defined by her heart and its actions. Brandi loved, she sacrificed, she dreamed, and she cared.

Brandi and her son, Ethan, the day he was born.

I have found myself asking the question,"why?" a lot over the last six months. "Why did she die? Why, God, didn't you intervene? Why, God, didn't you have a better plan? Why did she take that pill? Why! Why? Why!?" There are so many whys and most of them I pushed aside simply so that I could find a way to continue functioning because there was nothing in me to give to finding answers. There are so many things I don't know and only a few that I do.

I know that I wish I could have told her I loved her just a few more times. I wish I would have hugged her just a little bit longer. I wish I would have called her a thousand more times. I wish I had told her again how incredible she was. I wish I would have known to not take those moments for granted. I wish...I wish...I wish... Tonight I might sit here and write her a birthday letter with everything I wish I had said but it won't do any good because it is too late.

But there's one wish that does still matter and it's everything I wish I could tell you. I wish we would take the focus off ourselves and step out of our bubbles. I wish we would stop worrying what people will think and simply be honest about what we love about each other. I wish we would figure out how to make more time for each other and the memories that will matter. I wish we would hug a little longer. I wish we would tell each other what makes the other so fantastic. I wish we would forgive a little easier and love a lot more. I wish we would see what it is often too late to see.

Go make your friends see what they are worth to the world so you will never have to say, "I wish". And by doing so you will be helping to remove some of the sour from the lemons I'm trying to make into lemonade. And hey, by the way..... I love you! Seriously!

"Life's Like This..."

I have this faint memory from the ninth grade. It was a Thursday in the Fall of 2001. I was in the girls' bathroom of the 800 building at AC Flora High School, a building that I'm pretty sure no longer exists.

This cute, little blond girl started talking to me. We had a class together but I didn't really know her. I was new to the district, new to the town, new to the state and new to the south. Basically, I was just new and I'm sure it was plastered all over me. I was 14 and clueless. Luckily, so was she. After all, who isn't in the ninth grade?

She invited me to go to opening day at the fair that night. I don't remember anything about it but I know we were almost instantly best friends.

One of my favorite memories is the afternoon we got out the video camera and choreographed a music video to Avril Lavigne's "Complicated," complete with costume changes and multiple settings (If I ever find it... I will post it). I swear this song seems to play on the radio much more often since she's been gone and every time I hear it I ache for one more chance to tell her how special she is. But still, I'm thankful to hear it because it gives me the chance to remember her carefree smile and laugh before the world came along with all of its destruction, let downs and heart break.

It's a moment I can look to and rid myself of the haunting memory of the pain that lingered behind each smile in her last few years. A pain that I knew existed and yet failed to find a way to remove.  For a moment, I'm taken back to innocence and ignorance. A time when we still had the chance to achieve every dream we'd ever dreamt. A time when we were responsible for nothing but homework.



*Brandi, saying "Happy Birthday" seems like such a bizarre thing to say today but either way you should know that you aren't forgotten and you are just as loved as ever.*

"All Men Are Dogs" Pt. 2

To my Awesome and Incredible Non Dog Guy Friends All Around The World,

Because apparently some of you missed the point earlier and because I'm tired of men getting a bad rap. I would  just like to reiterate how blessed I am to be friends with you.

You are some of the greatest guys on Earth. You are genuine and pure hearted but still human. You make mistakes and let me and other people down at times (I know I do too) but your intentions are always honorable. You respect me and all of the women in your life.  You don't just believe in watching your mouth in front of women and children but at all times. You don't put on an act in this matter and I love how real that is.  You pursue a pure and honorable lifestyle even when no one is looking. That is such an attractive quality.
You not only treat me as a sister but as someone else's future wife. Your words, actions and choices show your thoughtfulness for a man, you and I most likely don't even know yet.

The world throws a lot at you, it tells you all the things that will supposedly make you a man but you laugh in the world's face because you know who you are and what you value.

Because of each one of you, the guys who have changed what I believe I deserve and what I believe is possible, the bar is constantly being raised. Thank you for that. Thank you for valuing the women in your life.

You have no idea what it means to us!

Love,
Catherine

P.S.
And for those of you who brought up the different breeds of dogs, a dog is still a dog and "No, I do not want a Poodle or a Pomeranian. I want a man! And no, I do not want a pit bull, that is also not a man."

P.P.S.
And just so you know you guys crack me up and I love you!

"All Men Are Dogs"

I can't tell you how many times I have heard this phrase or even how long I believed it.  I can, for some strange reason, remember walking down the street in late elementary school and my dad saying it.  He wasn't the first to say it and he wasn't the last. 

For years, I just accepted this statement as the truth.  It wasn't long before I began reading between the lines to the hidden messages this joke insinuates, "All men are dogs = All men think and care about is sex, boobs, porn and maybe food.  This is common knowledge about men, they are simple and this is all that matters to them.  Don't ever think of expecting anything more than this from them."

Unfortunately, the message I, and so many other young girls and women, began to believe was, "Don't expect anything from men." and "If you have boobs and a nice butt you are worth something to them. So use it.  Use it to gain attention, use it to gain control, use it to receive love and affirmation. Use it." 

What happens when a girl grows up believing "All men are dogs"?  It is really quite simple, she expects little or nothing from men.  She doesn't expect to be respected or honored because she has never been shown what it looks like or been shown that she deserves it.  She doesn't know to create high standards of expectation because she doesn't know there is something better to wait for.  She doesn't know the value of remaining pure when every guy she meets tells her and shows her there is no value in it.  When you grow up believing "All men are dogs" you do not know that it is okay to desire something more, to expect more. 

When you believe that "All men are dogs" you may believe that you deserve something better and you very likely will want something better, however you will never believe that you can have something better because you believe that all men are the same and that "something better" does not exist. 

I wish thirteen (to nineteen) year old me knew what I know now.  I wish thirteen year old me knew "Not all men are dogs" and that one day she would meet some incredible guys.  Not just incredible guys to date (there have been two or three of them and I love them dearly!) but incredible guys to play the role of father and grandfather, incredible guys to play the role of a big brother or little brother, incredible guys to be uncles and incredible guys to model the role of a husband.  I wish thirteen year old me knew not to waste my time, energy or heart on the dogs.  I wish thirteen year old me knew to relish in the expectancy of what was to come. 

A Side Note

The fact of the matter is, some men really are dogs and just don't care.  Others are dogs just because they think that is what makes them a man.  They are believing the lie, "all men are dogs" in a way similar to the way women are believing it.  I am not an expert on this part because I am not a guy.  If any of you who are men want to share something from that perspective, I would love to hear it. 

I also realize that some men might be asking the question, "Am I a dog?" or denying the fact that they are dogs by comparing themselves to a bigger dog.  I'm not going to get into this right now but just realize, you are probably only fooling yourself.

 

A Challenge

If you are a guy, I have some questions for you. If you are a girl, your challenge is in the next paragraph.  Men, what are you doing to prove to the women around you (daughters, wives, mothers, sisters, cousins, coworkers and supermarket clerks) that "Not all men are dogs"?  What are you doing to protect their hearts? Remember, no one ever follows the old saying "Do as I say, not as I do" and it is proven that "Actions really do speak louder than words." If you tell your daughter or sister not to settle for a dog but you yourself are behaving like a dog, you can guarantee she will settle.  Show her what to expect through your values and actions.  Something that really scares me about some men is that you just might be ok with your daughter picking a dog because if she found someone to cherish and respect her, you would feel convicted and challenged.

Ladies, are you honoring the men (who are not dogs) in your life?  Are you taking the time to appreciate them?  Do you realize how hard they work to honor and respect you, to fight off the messages that the world sends them?  They aren't immune to the temptations of the world and they aren't wimps but they choose something better out of love and respect for you and me. As they struggle with the temptations that the world throws at them, are you working against them or looking for ways that you can make it a little easier?  Telling dirty jokes, dressing in skimpy clothes and picking out inappropriate movies are all ways we make life more difficult for them.  Don't let their efforts and beautiful hearts go unnoticed.


Finally, don't allow the girls and women in your life to continue believing "All men are dogs".  We so often get annoyed with guys that we say things we don't mean while talking to our girlfriends. Beware of the messages that your words are sending out not only to your friends but to listening ears. 
 

True Story

A while back I was riding in the car with my Aunt and her three youngest children.  At the time they were three, seven and nine.  The two oldest are girls.  I happened to be complaining to my aunt about this guy I was talking to and how confusing he was being.  In a joking but frustrated way I concluded my rant with an exasperated, "I don't know. Boys are just stupid."  Right then and there, my seven year old cousin replied, "That isn't nice, Catherine.  You shouldn't call people stupid." 

Talk about a slap in the face. Just as much as I would never want my little cousins to grow up believing the generalization that "All guys are dogs," I wouldn't want them thinking that "Boys are just stupid." I want them to grow up honoring men, their brothers and their father.  I want them to see the talent behind these men and how hard they work. I also want them to honor and respect their classmates.  I don't want them to grow up thinking they are better or smarter than anyone else.  I am so thankful that she responded to my statement in the way she did.  If she had not, I might not have realized the messages I was sending out.

Thank You

Finally, I just want to say thank you to all the guys who have been part of recreating my image of men.  You are AWESOME and you are greatly appreciated! If it wasn't for you, I would still be believing a lie.  I love you all! 



Be Naive!

"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"

-Unknown

Part II

Remember when you were a kid and you used to dream about being an astronaut, princess, football player, acrobat or ________? Remember when you didn't understand logic and you would simply ask, "WHY?" because you didn't like something about the world? Remember when you had simple solutions to the world's biggest problems because you just didn't think things needed to be that complicated.

As I was saying in my previous post, "Do You Enjoy It?" the above quote always makes my insides scream for something more.  It makes me want to dream for more, to expect more and to live more. I also can't help but wonder if we have come to a point where we no longer allow ourselves to dream, question and ask, "what if" because we are afraid of being hurt when things don't work out, we are afraid of taking risks, afraid of the unknown, afraid of the free fall, afraid of tripping and getting scraped up, afraid of failing.

Do you remember when you would get frustrated with the adults who told you that you were just being "naive" or that "one day you would understand"?  Do you remember when you used to look at adults and wonder why they seemed so hopeless, why they never dreamt? Do you remember promising yourself that you would never become like them, that you would never stop dreaming, stop trying to change the world?  What happened?
So now I will ask you again, "What would you attempt to do if you knew  you could not fail?"  Would you really just fly around?  What if the question was that you could do ONE thing without failing, what would it be?  Would you try to meet someone or tackle a large issue? How would you use your one thing to change the world?   How would the world be different?  What if we began thinking like children again? What if we took back our naivety and took on the world?  And what if these weren't just "what ifs"? What if we all had the ability to do one thing without failing? And what if we actually acted on it?

Do You Enjoy It?

"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"

-Unknown

Part I

I recently posted this question as a status update on Facebook.  The responses I got were pretty tame. Some people said things like, "Fly" or "Anything, just because I could" while others simply "liked" it.  I remember feeling a little disappointed that not one of my friends even dared for a minute to think outside the box.  I knew it was simply just another sentence on their news feed but I was disappointed because it made me feel like I was the only one who's insides were screaming for something more.   

I can't help but wonder if we have come to a point where we no longer allow ourselves to dream, question and ask, "what if" because we are afraid of being hurt when things don't work out, we are afraid of taking risks, afraid of the unknown, afraid of the free fall, afraid of tripping and getting scraped up. 

Or is it that we've become too busy? Are we so wrapped up in our everyday lives, in all the things that are so important to us that we don't even have time to appreciate them?  I have this friend who is extremely talented, passionate and hard working but lately it seems that his life has been overtaken by all these things he "has to do," things that he loves and things that he has chosen for his life but at the same time something just seems off.  I recently asked him, "Do you enjoy it?" and at first his response made me feel a little better, "Deep down I am. It's just hard to realize because of everything else." But some time later I began to feel like something was off with that answer.  You see, here is this guy who is "living the dream," setting himself up for a successful future and doing things he always dreamed of but he can't fully enjoy because he is stretched out in so many different directions.  What good are blessings if we have turned them into burdens? What good are these blessings if we can not fully engage in them because of all the other responsibilities in our lives that we are afraid to let go of?

Individual blessings usually come along only for a period of time (some longer and shorter than others).  For example, college, jobs (and unemployment), trips, relationships (even the different stages of relationships), babies, children, vacations, living in a certain area, engagements, weddings, etc.  And I can't help but feel like most of the time we allow ourselves to be robbed of the pleasure God intends for us to find in that blessing because we don't make it a priority.  We often recognize the blessing but then put it on the same playing field as every other aspect of our lives.  We practically make it mundane.  We even say things like, "Oh, this is going by so fast." or "I wish I had more time or energy to focus on _____." But we do nothing about it.  We don't sit down and make a plan.  We don't look at the different stories our lives are writing and decide which ones need to be cut out (Thanks, Caleb for this line).  We just keep on going.  We tell ourselves to enjoy the moment, to live in it and not rush but our actions say otherwise. 

So now, I have to ask you a question, "Are you enjoying it? Are you glad you are doing it?" If your answer isn't "YES!", if your answer is more like, "Yes, but I hardly realize it" then PLEASE stop and do something about it.  Make some changes.  Do something different, step back from something if you need to.  Take control of your schedule and manage your time better.  Do something different so you can enjoy the blessings you have been given right now.  Because before you know it, they will be gone. 

 Just A Little Something Extra....

Are you a newlywed couple that just can't wait to have kids? Why? Do you realize you have your whole lives ahead of you? Have you taken the time to enjoy your spouse and this season of your lives together? If you can't figure out how to enjoy them how will you ever learn to truly enjoy your children? You only get this season of your life once, don't rush through it. Don't forget to enjoy it.

Are you engaged? Why are you rushing everything? Why do you feel the need to get married yesterday? I understand you are excited, believe me I do and I am sure I would be right there with you but seriously, you only get this ONCE! Relish in the moment. Be excited! Live out each moment and experience it fully. This is your time.

Oh, college student! My goodness, enjoy it! Go to class and LEARN! Take advantage of all the opportunities in front of you. Meet people! Leave your shell and comfort zone behind and build relationships. Quit counting down the days and years till graduation. You only get this once, appreciate the people around you and go crazy!

And to "all the single ladies (and gentlemen)," can we please just relax? We have the rest of our lives ahead of us. I know the child in you is feeling "SO OLD!" but seriously we are in this season for a reason and there is still so much fun to be had! Let's embrace it! Let's learn to enjoy every aspect of it (including the Friday nights at home and wedding invites with no "plus one") so that when the next blessing comes along we will be ready for it, we will know how to embrace and appreciate that season.


(A few weeks later:  Just read this article from Relevant and thought it really applies to this topic.   http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/whole-life/features/26793-the-pride-of-busyness)

If Your Life Were A Movie...

Person #1: "How was the movie last night?"

Person #2: "It was good. We enjoyed it but the plot really wandered at times...  It was worth watching but was missing something.  ...It wasn't worth five stars and well, I wouldn't really give it four stars either.  I guess it would be three stars.  I liked the storyline, it just wandered..."

Sounds like a pretty average conversation, right? But just this once something jumped out at me. After hearing her response, I thought, "WOW! Isn't that life?!"

How many people are settling for a "three stars" kind of life? It isn't really bad but it isn't really great.  It's just ok enough to get comfortable.  If it was bad, we might actually be motivated to do something about it. And if it were really great, we would be out shouting about it like we do with all the great films we watch.

Think about what is happening when the plot of a movie wanders.  The storyline is missing the point and straying from fulfilling its purpose.  Is the storyline of your life wandering?  Are you missing the point or are you fulfilling your purpose? How many stars would your film receive?

God's Story VS. My Story

(This is another one written from my phone so please forgive the grammatical errors)

For years I've felt like I'm supposed to write a book. As much as I don't feel like a writer I've felt called to share my story. I've struggled many times to begin writing. I've written various introductions and I've had many conversations with God asking Him, "How am I supposed to do this? I'm not a writer!" And even bigger than all that, "God! How am I supposed to write about this topic, these things when I haven't even conquered it/them myself yet?"

Here are some conclusions that I've come to....

Number One:
God said, "You will write a book". He never said, "You will write a book today." My story isn't finished yet. He isn't finished yet. He's still writing the story and I can't write it until he has revealed it to me and equipped me to write.

Number Two:
It's okay that I'm not the expert on anything. The calling in my heart is to tell MY story and on that I am an expert (sometimes). My story like so many other women's is one of vulnerability, of weakness, of tears and confusion, of struggle, pain and heartbreak. But also joy and laughter, of hope and encouragement. My story is a battle, my story is one without answers, my story is a victory. My story is just that, my story.

Number Three:
Sometimes the story we want to write is not the story God wants to write. I mean this in the literal sense and also in the metaphorical sense. First, I've been trying to write this book, trying to piece it all together, assuming that I know the point the story should make but really if I step back for a moment I realize that God didn't reveal that to me yet, I just went running ahead.  And metaphorically, it's almost exactly the same. I go through life and God gives me one clue, one piece of the puzzle (with school, friends, jobs and guys) and I get so excited that I immediately begin to run ahead (can somebody say this girl needs patience and pacing!?!) without the rest of the information, without instructions, without God!!

I'm like the little kid in class (here comes Ms. Smith) that as soon as the teacher introduces the project they are immediately tearing things apart, cutting, gluing, writing, etc. The kid often doesn't even hear the first word of the instructions and then they wonder what went wrong or say, "But you never told me that!" And of course the teacher says, "If you had been listening you would have heard me say it twice." It usually takes the kid a few times to learn their lesson. Maybe now after a few "screwed up projects" I'm learning to have patience and find a balance between the excitement and waiting for instructions.

So whether you're literally writing a book or if you're just not sure what the next step is in life remember that sometimes the story we want to write is not the same one He wants to write. My advice to you (and myself) is to aim for the one he is writing. I've always found he does a much better job than me.