"All Men Are Dogs" Pt. 2

To my Awesome and Incredible Non Dog Guy Friends All Around The World,

Because apparently some of you missed the point earlier and because I'm tired of men getting a bad rap. I would  just like to reiterate how blessed I am to be friends with you.

You are some of the greatest guys on Earth. You are genuine and pure hearted but still human. You make mistakes and let me and other people down at times (I know I do too) but your intentions are always honorable. You respect me and all of the women in your life.  You don't just believe in watching your mouth in front of women and children but at all times. You don't put on an act in this matter and I love how real that is.  You pursue a pure and honorable lifestyle even when no one is looking. That is such an attractive quality.
You not only treat me as a sister but as someone else's future wife. Your words, actions and choices show your thoughtfulness for a man, you and I most likely don't even know yet.

The world throws a lot at you, it tells you all the things that will supposedly make you a man but you laugh in the world's face because you know who you are and what you value.

Because of each one of you, the guys who have changed what I believe I deserve and what I believe is possible, the bar is constantly being raised. Thank you for that. Thank you for valuing the women in your life.

You have no idea what it means to us!

Love,
Catherine

P.S.
And for those of you who brought up the different breeds of dogs, a dog is still a dog and "No, I do not want a Poodle or a Pomeranian. I want a man! And no, I do not want a pit bull, that is also not a man."

P.P.S.
And just so you know you guys crack me up and I love you!

"All Men Are Dogs"

I can't tell you how many times I have heard this phrase or even how long I believed it.  I can, for some strange reason, remember walking down the street in late elementary school and my dad saying it.  He wasn't the first to say it and he wasn't the last. 

For years, I just accepted this statement as the truth.  It wasn't long before I began reading between the lines to the hidden messages this joke insinuates, "All men are dogs = All men think and care about is sex, boobs, porn and maybe food.  This is common knowledge about men, they are simple and this is all that matters to them.  Don't ever think of expecting anything more than this from them."

Unfortunately, the message I, and so many other young girls and women, began to believe was, "Don't expect anything from men." and "If you have boobs and a nice butt you are worth something to them. So use it.  Use it to gain attention, use it to gain control, use it to receive love and affirmation. Use it." 

What happens when a girl grows up believing "All men are dogs"?  It is really quite simple, she expects little or nothing from men.  She doesn't expect to be respected or honored because she has never been shown what it looks like or been shown that she deserves it.  She doesn't know to create high standards of expectation because she doesn't know there is something better to wait for.  She doesn't know the value of remaining pure when every guy she meets tells her and shows her there is no value in it.  When you grow up believing "All men are dogs" you do not know that it is okay to desire something more, to expect more. 

When you believe that "All men are dogs" you may believe that you deserve something better and you very likely will want something better, however you will never believe that you can have something better because you believe that all men are the same and that "something better" does not exist. 

I wish thirteen (to nineteen) year old me knew what I know now.  I wish thirteen year old me knew "Not all men are dogs" and that one day she would meet some incredible guys.  Not just incredible guys to date (there have been two or three of them and I love them dearly!) but incredible guys to play the role of father and grandfather, incredible guys to play the role of a big brother or little brother, incredible guys to be uncles and incredible guys to model the role of a husband.  I wish thirteen year old me knew not to waste my time, energy or heart on the dogs.  I wish thirteen year old me knew to relish in the expectancy of what was to come. 

A Side Note

The fact of the matter is, some men really are dogs and just don't care.  Others are dogs just because they think that is what makes them a man.  They are believing the lie, "all men are dogs" in a way similar to the way women are believing it.  I am not an expert on this part because I am not a guy.  If any of you who are men want to share something from that perspective, I would love to hear it. 

I also realize that some men might be asking the question, "Am I a dog?" or denying the fact that they are dogs by comparing themselves to a bigger dog.  I'm not going to get into this right now but just realize, you are probably only fooling yourself.

 

A Challenge

If you are a guy, I have some questions for you. If you are a girl, your challenge is in the next paragraph.  Men, what are you doing to prove to the women around you (daughters, wives, mothers, sisters, cousins, coworkers and supermarket clerks) that "Not all men are dogs"?  What are you doing to protect their hearts? Remember, no one ever follows the old saying "Do as I say, not as I do" and it is proven that "Actions really do speak louder than words." If you tell your daughter or sister not to settle for a dog but you yourself are behaving like a dog, you can guarantee she will settle.  Show her what to expect through your values and actions.  Something that really scares me about some men is that you just might be ok with your daughter picking a dog because if she found someone to cherish and respect her, you would feel convicted and challenged.

Ladies, are you honoring the men (who are not dogs) in your life?  Are you taking the time to appreciate them?  Do you realize how hard they work to honor and respect you, to fight off the messages that the world sends them?  They aren't immune to the temptations of the world and they aren't wimps but they choose something better out of love and respect for you and me. As they struggle with the temptations that the world throws at them, are you working against them or looking for ways that you can make it a little easier?  Telling dirty jokes, dressing in skimpy clothes and picking out inappropriate movies are all ways we make life more difficult for them.  Don't let their efforts and beautiful hearts go unnoticed.


Finally, don't allow the girls and women in your life to continue believing "All men are dogs".  We so often get annoyed with guys that we say things we don't mean while talking to our girlfriends. Beware of the messages that your words are sending out not only to your friends but to listening ears. 
 

True Story

A while back I was riding in the car with my Aunt and her three youngest children.  At the time they were three, seven and nine.  The two oldest are girls.  I happened to be complaining to my aunt about this guy I was talking to and how confusing he was being.  In a joking but frustrated way I concluded my rant with an exasperated, "I don't know. Boys are just stupid."  Right then and there, my seven year old cousin replied, "That isn't nice, Catherine.  You shouldn't call people stupid." 

Talk about a slap in the face. Just as much as I would never want my little cousins to grow up believing the generalization that "All guys are dogs," I wouldn't want them thinking that "Boys are just stupid." I want them to grow up honoring men, their brothers and their father.  I want them to see the talent behind these men and how hard they work. I also want them to honor and respect their classmates.  I don't want them to grow up thinking they are better or smarter than anyone else.  I am so thankful that she responded to my statement in the way she did.  If she had not, I might not have realized the messages I was sending out.

Thank You

Finally, I just want to say thank you to all the guys who have been part of recreating my image of men.  You are AWESOME and you are greatly appreciated! If it wasn't for you, I would still be believing a lie.  I love you all!