What's in store? A life of porn....

I am excited to announce I have been invited to join the XXXChurch team for two incredible outreaches in the next year. First, I will be returning to EXXXotica NJ in November 2012, and in the spring of 2013, I will be joining the XXXChurch International team in Australia.

This type of outreach can be very expensive because "showing up" the XXXChurch way involves actually showing up in the lives of those we are trying to reach, and this means renting a booth at the show. There is also the cost of travel, lodging and the unique "Jesus loves Porn Stars" bibles, stickers and other items we give away to the more than 28,000 people we meet at each event.
The idea of giving to this type of outreach might freak you out. It isn’t the typical and usually comfortable missions work most are used to. This isn’t Operation Christmas Child; we aren’t collecting school supplies, we aren’t giving our doggy bag to the homeless person we pass on the street. Those are all kind acts, but outreach to the sex industry falls in an entirely different category. It takes understanding, investment and time. It involves building relationships with; seeing the beauty in; and truly loving individuals who most deem unlovable, dirty and offensive. But it is needed, desperately needed. The men and women working in this industry (and consuming their products) need to know they are valuable. They need to know they are not failures. They need to know they matter and are loved.

The majority of these individuals were sexually abused as children, they were stripped of their worth and made to feel dirty. Many of them were trafficking victims and have only ever known survival through a world of sex. Most want to leave the industry but feel they have no other means for survival. That’s where XXXChurch comes in. We won’t tell anyone to leave the industry, we won’t tell them to become Christians (honestly, that isn’t our goal), but we will tell them they are loved. And when they ask us what we do, we will tell them: “XXXChurch.com is a nonprofit Christian website with resources for individuals who are in over their heads with pornography and support for individuals working in the industry who are interested in a career change.”

I know what you are thinking, “But your goal really is to get them to quit, right?” No. That is not my goal and that is not XXXChurch’s goal. I want these men and women to know they are valuable. That is my goal. And yes, ultimately as a result of knowing how valuable they are, they will walk away, but if an individual walks away from the industry without knowing their worth, then I have still failed.

So whether you are or are not a Christian and whether you are or are not a fan of porn, if you feel like this is something you can believe in, please consider helping me raise $5000. You can give one time or you can give a small amount each month. Either way, I greatly appreciate it and promise that it will make a lasting impact on someone’s life.

You can give by following this link:
https://www.myxxxchurch.com/campaigns/view/catherinesmith.html


This photo is from EXXXotica NJ 2011. He was the recipient of the final bible we had with us.

Reckless Abandon

Sunday morning, I was getting ready for church and thinking about a fundraiser I had to go to in the afternoon. I was excited about the fundraiser and excited to learn more about the cause but I was also a little nervous because money is tight. Not only am I moving to NC in three weeks but God has yet to reveal the job he is preparing for me and I only have enough money saved to very carefully last until September. Oh... and there's this little thing called The You Are Project and oh yeah... I kind of volunteered us to help remodel the living room of the home/shelter our friends just bought in Camden....

As the numbers behind my circumstances ran through my head, the 25-30 dollars I had budgeted for the event began to seem more and more precious and valuable and I found myself saying to God, "I love being able to give but am I digging myself into a hole? When do I say no? How can I say no when there are so many real causes and needs that are desperate for support? I know you will always provide for me but surely I can't keep saying yes to it all. That can't be what you mean... I need you to teach me how to know when it's okay to stop."

A few minutes later, when I was done getting ready I opened up my Bible to do a little reading before leaving the house. I'm currently in the middle of reading The Message version of 2 Corinthians and this is part of what I read:

"God can pour on the blessings in astonishing ways so that you're ready for anything and everything, more than just ready to do what needs to be done. As one psalmist puts it, He throws caution to the winds, giving to the needy in reckless abandon. His right-living, right-giving ways never run out, never wear out."

I wish I could tell you that I immediately realized God was answering my question. But I didn't. Instead I noticed it said he gives "to the needy with reckless abandon" and thought, "Oh. What a funny coincidence," continued reading and headed off to church.

At the fundraiser, I not only won the 50/50 but I also won a basket of lottery tickets in a raffle. I left the event with three times more than I came with. As I drove home, all I could think about was how blessed I was and the words "He gives with reckless abandon" cycled through my mind until I could reread chapter 9.

"God can pour on the blessings in astonishing ways so that you're ready for anything and everything, more than just ready to do what needs to be done. As one psalmist puts it, He throws caution to the winds, giving to the needy in reckless abandon. His right-living, right-giving ways never run out, never wear out."

And then I saw what I could not see before. As my mom pointed out, God, just like an earthly father, answered my question with words but when I was not able to understand his explanation he gave me a physical demonstration so that I could understand this message:

Why worry about when to say no when my God can "pour on the blessings in astonishing ways" so that I'm ready to do anything and everything, more than just what needs to be done? If I am going to be like my God and my God gives to the needy in reckless abandon then I need to give with reckless abandon, not just with my money but with my time and with my love.

Porn, Strippers, XXX... and Jesus?!

      

If you pay any attention to my Facebook posts or News Feed I am sure you have some questions about what it is I was doing in Pasadena last weekend. Actually you probably just have a lot of questions in general about the things I post.

I've been spending the last few months (since November when the above video was made) trying to figure out a way to explain it to all of you. I'm still not sure I know how but I'm going to try.

I believe we, men and women, were created by God to do huge things. We were not created to do life alone. We were created to experience life not only through relationship with others but also through relationship with the one who created us. I believe the best way for us to succeed in life, the best way to do life well, is by partnering with the one who designed us.

I also believe, from my own personal experiences, that many people are believing the lie that they are on their own to navigate life. We (people) are broken and searching for meaning and looking to the wrong things for that sense of worth and purpose. Unfortunately as we search for a means of escape and fulfillment we find ourselves feeling even more alone, let down and unfulfilled.

This longing for love, purpose, validation and value is why men and women work in the sex industry. This longing and brokenness is why the sex industry grosses more annually than the MLB, NFL, NBA and NHL combined. These men and women (consumers and producers/entertainers)are here because they are believing the voice that tells them this is as good as it gets. They are believing the lie that this will bring fulfillment, approval and love. They are also believing the lie that they have to keep coming back to keep that feeling of security, belonging and acceptance from fleeing.

Maybe I haven't worked in the sex industry but it isn't because I didn't believe that lie and I'm willing to bet you have believed it too. The truth is, even if we aren't struggling with bondage connected to the sex industry we do still have an underlying issue that is the same.

And that is why my heart breaks. That is why I am so passionate about this. That is why I must invest my life in these women (and men). Because I can't know the truth and not share it.

I know how I felt as I searched for answers, security, love and belonging. I know how lost I was and I not only see that when I look into the eyes of the men and women I meet at the porn shows and strip clubs but also when I look into the eyes of so many of you, my family and friends. I can't go through life ignoring that brokenness. I can't pretend it isn't there. I can't pretend I don't see it. I can't pretend I don't know.

Oh! And to answer your question about all those crazy posts

and what I was doing in Pasadena....

I'm partnering with XXXChurch.com and StripChurch to provide resources, support, truth and encouragement to men and women affected by involvement in the sex industry either as consumers or entertainers/producers.

XXXChurch.com is a non profit website that provides support through various resources for individuals who struggle with pornography addictions. They also provide resources for family members of men and women struggling with addictions and resources and support for individuals working in the industry.

StripChurch is a partner organization to XXX Church. They reach out to women working in strip clubs by loving them beyond measure and encouraging them through prayer, testimony and God's truths, in order to help them realize how valuable they are.