Watching The Sunrise...

When we go out of our way for God, he goes out of his way for us. 

Did you ever notice how every couple seems to have "a place"? You know, the place they return to whenever they want a romantic getaway.  Maybe it's the park where they first held hands, or the town they went away to on their honeymoon. Maybe it's the city they went to college in.  For whatever reason that place holds a special place in their heart, that is the place they can go and be reminded of their love for one another.  It's the place they go to fall in love again.

If you know anything about me, you know that if I could be anywhere I would be on a quiet beach.  It's my quiet place, my resting place, my outdoor sanctuary, it's my place with God.  It's our emergency getaway place, the place where he captures my heart all over again.

Another thing you should know about me is that I HATE to get up early.  If you can get me to wake up early (and actually be cheerful about it) then you should feel pretty special because it means you are important to me!

Last weekend, I was in Virginia Beach with some girls from True North for the Devoted Conference (this was written a year ago after the 2011 Devoted).  We were literally there for less than 48 hours and had many, many amazing things to do during that time. I was incredibly encouraged and touched by the worship and the speakers but found myself yearning for something more as we bounced around from activity to activity.  Although I was in the Lord's presence, I was craving time alone with Him. Time I wouldn't have to share with anyone else.  I was so desperate for this time that I tried to convince the girls I was staying with that it was completely safe and okay for me to go out on the beach at 11:00 Friday night.  They wouldn't allow it.  So... I went to bed disappointed because I knew that we were leaving the following morning and I would not get to meet with God in our place.

As I lay in bed that night I realized what I needed to do, what I wanted to do but only wished could come later in the day.  God was asking me to meet him for an early morning sunrise date.  As excited as I was to watch the sunrise there was very little excitement over getting up at 6:00 when it was already after 1am but hey, we do crazy things when we're in love...

FAST FORWARD TO THE MORNING....

Everyone was sleeping as I snuck around the room looking for warm clothes, shoes and socks.  I wondered to myself what they would think about me going on the beach this early (since they didn't want me to go so late) and I wondered if I should tell someone... but was reminded of one of the conference speakers' words, "My faith is stronger than my fear" and I told myself that I would be perfectly safe because God had called me out on this date and he would watch over me. 

As I walked out the door of the hotel and down the street towards the beach a line from a song played over and over in my head, "Your love never fails. It never gives up, it never runs out on me..."

I thought about the clouds and how on really cloudy days you can't really see the sun rise but they are used to make the event so spectacular. I realized that the clouds in our lives are what add the beauty to the bigger events for us and I kept on walking....

Then, as I stepped off the "boardwalk" (anyone from Jersey knows this is not an actual boardwalk) and into the sand my heart leapt within me as the waves crashed into the air greeting me. 

As always the little girl in me began asking for a "present".  "I would really, really love to see a dolphin (it's the thing I ask for every time I am at the beach) or some star fish or some other rare occurance, just romance me!"  Everytime I am on the beach I begin to say to myself, "Maybe this time I will get a present..." This time God's response really got my attention, "You can't go looking and asking for gifts.  No one likes to give a surprise present to someone who is constantly begging and asking for it.  Even worse, the person who receives can not enjoy the gift-giver's heart because of all the pressure they put on them."  (I had a friend in college who ruined her boyfriend's proposal this way.  By the time he proposed she had basically said everything short of "just give me the ring")  Then He added, "Just wait for my blessing. (that sure applies in a lot of areas)"

So, I continued walking, knowing that I really didn't need any dolphins or star fish to make my date with God special.  I started pouring out my heart to God and then something stopped me.  I remembered something someone had said over the weekend, "Sometimes we get upset because God isn't answering our questions but maybe we are asking the wrong questions."  So, I changed my approach, "God I've already told you my heart's desires, I've already told you my fears and concerns.  You know them all.  What do you want to hear?  What do you want to say?"  And then, I continued walking. 

I begin to notice a huge ridge of clouds above the horizon.  Somewhere behind the clouds lies the sun. 

"He will reveal the hidden things." The sun is somewhere behind the clouds. I see it shining through a crack. I don't see the sun. Just its shine and that is reflecting on the water. What's in us shines through to those around us even when people don't see the Son (the reason for our glow) But "He will reveal the hidden things".

I find myself asking, "What do you want to hear? What do you want to say..." and then, I am interrupted by this, "Sit."  So I sit.....

Wow! There it is! There's the sun. The sun just rose in that crack and lit up the entire sky. It revealed itself and now the glow is even greater. The clouds, the water, everything has the glow... and I hear, "Can I just tell you that I love you?"

When he said sit, I could have kept going... But man, what a behold moment!!!   The sun was soon hidden again behind the next line of clouds but the extra glow was still there and then WOW, it was risen for good above all of the clouds.  No longer hidden. Clear for all to see. "Now I can see all of you and it's radiant! I can hardly look.  You're brighter than ever and glowing on my face."

5-12-10

Tonight I came across something I wrote in my writer's notebook during senior year of college... 

Why do we all think we need to fit a mold? Why do we buy into the lie that if we aren't a size 3, 120 lbs, tan, gorgeous with the most fashionable clothes, the correct accessories and a man that looks like he was pulled from the most recent Abercrombie photo shoot that there is something wrong with us?  And even when we decide those things are not what we want, we are still not satisfied because we feel judged by the world.
 
And if the pressure to meet the appearance expectations isn't strong enough there is also the expectation of meeting the life stages mold.  Meaning by a certain age we should be finishing college,settling down, getting a job, building a career, getting engaged, planning a wedding, getting married and having children.

So what if I am graduating college after five years and still don't really know what I want to do?  So what if I have walked away from romantic men that melted my heart because something just didn't feel right? Is there something wrong with me for getting irritated when guys constantly read into me being nice and at the same time get irritated with the guys I do like for not being able to tell the difference?

Why do all my friends think that just because I am the token single friend that they should be setting me up with people? What's the hurry?

What if we all made the choice to step out on our own, to face our fears of being alone, to explore the person we see everyday in the mirror, to set goals and accomplish them, to honor others, to make a list (and continually add to it) of the things we love about ourselves, to have the courage to dance, to exercise and eat healthy simply because it makes us feel good, to eat the chocolate cake no matter who is looking, to forgive, to learn to play drums, speak Italian or surf, to take trips with our girlfriends and to be open to love (in whatever form it comes)? What if we stopped saying someday and started saying today?

There's a reason people don't take helicopter rides to the top of Mt. Everest, the excitement isn't at the top, it's during the trials and experiences on the way up.  Today is the day to start enjoying the journey.  Today is the day we will tell our grand kids about.

Is It Worth Losing Your Life?

Last Fall, one of the classes I assisted with was a Driver's Education course. My students had to watch a documentary called, "The Last Text" (It's only 10 minutes, please watch it). It really got me thinking not only about the ways in which I have put myself in danger but the ways in which I have endangered others by texting or calling them when I know they are driving.  But then I shrugged off the feeling because it was just too difficult to break the habit. Plus I figured I was being safe.... Then tonight I came home and found this note from my grand father at the bottom of an article about distracted drivers. I decided that even if I think I am being safe the risk just isn't worth it anymore.

"I'm having you read this because we love you very much + I don't want to go to a funeral."

I never want my attempt to communicate with you to be the reason I never get to speak to you again.  If you are reading this, please know I value your life! There is a huge purpose for it and I don't want anything to get in the way of that. I am sorry for thinking I am smarter than this. Tomorrow everything changes.



Please watch this video and join me in asking the following question with every decision you make in the car, "Is this worth losing my life?" I even challenge you to ask me how I am doing with this because my life and your life is more valuable than checking my email at a red light, letting you know, "I will be right there" or tweeting the most exciting thing I have seen in the last two minutes.