God's Story VS. My Story

(This is another one written from my phone so please forgive the grammatical errors)

For years I've felt like I'm supposed to write a book. As much as I don't feel like a writer I've felt called to share my story. I've struggled many times to begin writing. I've written various introductions and I've had many conversations with God asking Him, "How am I supposed to do this? I'm not a writer!" And even bigger than all that, "God! How am I supposed to write about this topic, these things when I haven't even conquered it/them myself yet?"

Here are some conclusions that I've come to....

Number One:
God said, "You will write a book". He never said, "You will write a book today." My story isn't finished yet. He isn't finished yet. He's still writing the story and I can't write it until he has revealed it to me and equipped me to write.

Number Two:
It's okay that I'm not the expert on anything. The calling in my heart is to tell MY story and on that I am an expert (sometimes). My story like so many other women's is one of vulnerability, of weakness, of tears and confusion, of struggle, pain and heartbreak. But also joy and laughter, of hope and encouragement. My story is a battle, my story is one without answers, my story is a victory. My story is just that, my story.

Number Three:
Sometimes the story we want to write is not the story God wants to write. I mean this in the literal sense and also in the metaphorical sense. First, I've been trying to write this book, trying to piece it all together, assuming that I know the point the story should make but really if I step back for a moment I realize that God didn't reveal that to me yet, I just went running ahead.  And metaphorically, it's almost exactly the same. I go through life and God gives me one clue, one piece of the puzzle (with school, friends, jobs and guys) and I get so excited that I immediately begin to run ahead (can somebody say this girl needs patience and pacing!?!) without the rest of the information, without instructions, without God!!

I'm like the little kid in class (here comes Ms. Smith) that as soon as the teacher introduces the project they are immediately tearing things apart, cutting, gluing, writing, etc. The kid often doesn't even hear the first word of the instructions and then they wonder what went wrong or say, "But you never told me that!" And of course the teacher says, "If you had been listening you would have heard me say it twice." It usually takes the kid a few times to learn their lesson. Maybe now after a few "screwed up projects" I'm learning to have patience and find a balance between the excitement and waiting for instructions.

So whether you're literally writing a book or if you're just not sure what the next step is in life remember that sometimes the story we want to write is not the same one He wants to write. My advice to you (and myself) is to aim for the one he is writing. I've always found he does a much better job than me.

The Story of Your Life

The Story Of Your Life - Matthew West

Is this the end? Or only the beginning?
The second chance you never thought you'd get.

The question is, "Will you do something with it
Or spend your days lost in your regret.

This is the story of your life
You decide
How the rest is gonna read.
This is your chance between the lines
To redefine what kind of legacy you leave.
This is the story of your life
And it's a story worth telling.

Breathe in deep.
Feel your heart still beating.
Let's go see the reason you're alive.
Oh, you are here
And love is up to something
So take your fear
And leave it all behind.

This is the story of your life
You decide
How to rest is gonna read.
This is your chance between the lines
To redefine what kind of legacy you leave.
This is the story of your life
And it's a story worth telling.

This is the joy
And it's the pain
And all the pages in between.
Your finest hour
Your weakest moment
It's where you've been.
It's where you are.
It's where you are going.

Seek Me and You Will Find Me...

Sorry about the typos... I wrote this on my phone while at the beach.

"You will rejoice and no one will take away your joy."
John 16:22

I feel bad for people who believe this world was all an accident, that it just appeared for no reason. They must miss some of the wonder of it all. I don't care how beautiful you think something is, I don't believe you can truly appreciate, truly see all of its beauty and character if you don't know the one who made it.
All this noise, the wooshing and the crashing of the waves might seem chaotic to some. For me, it is calming. It is the perfect example of everything working in harmony. How do the tides work? Why do the waves crash where they do?

I can stand here completely still and just stare. The wind blowing around me, the sand between my toes, heels sinking deeper and I forget all about the chaos in my life. I no longer question, "What comes next?" or "Why did that happen?" The sun is making its way down. The tide is coming in (or going out I don't really know), everything is doing exactly what it should be doing. Nothing is stopping to say, "Hey God, are you sure you still want me to do this?". All of nature is at peace, each piece knows their part and for this moment I am a piece of it. The waves hop forward as if to say, "We are glad you joined us."

I came here in search of answers (I was in the gym and felt the call so I got in the car and drove). I didn't actually get any, but I find myself at peace again because God arranged a beautiful date just for me. Just like me, God wants to be pursued. He wants us to search him out. When we seek him with all of our hearts we find him. I didn't get any answers because I don't need them but I am fulfilled because I had the chance to sit at my creator's feet and absorb his love.

Interestingly enough, as I was driving home He gave me a verse which I think sort of has an answer to my questions. It is one that I have heard and read 100 times but I felt His heart this time and new words stood out to me, "For I know the plans I have for you. Says the Lord. Plans to PROSPER you and NOT TO HARM you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE."

I've never doubted that God had a plan but it was nice to be reminded that the plan is to prosper me and not to harm. It was comforting to know that in the midst of all my questions about his plan that He promises me a prosperous future filled with hope.


This old man walked by as I was sitting there. 
He insisted that I have a picture of myself because my

friends would never believe I was barefoot.