Is It Worth Losing Your Life?

Last Fall, one of the classes I assisted with was a Driver's Education course. My students had to watch a documentary called, "The Last Text" (It's only 10 minutes, please watch it). It really got me thinking not only about the ways in which I have put myself in danger but the ways in which I have endangered others by texting or calling them when I know they are driving.  But then I shrugged off the feeling because it was just too difficult to break the habit. Plus I figured I was being safe.... Then tonight I came home and found this note from my grand father at the bottom of an article about distracted drivers. I decided that even if I think I am being safe the risk just isn't worth it anymore.

"I'm having you read this because we love you very much + I don't want to go to a funeral."

I never want my attempt to communicate with you to be the reason I never get to speak to you again.  If you are reading this, please know I value your life! There is a huge purpose for it and I don't want anything to get in the way of that. I am sorry for thinking I am smarter than this. Tomorrow everything changes.



Please watch this video and join me in asking the following question with every decision you make in the car, "Is this worth losing my life?" I even challenge you to ask me how I am doing with this because my life and your life is more valuable than checking my email at a red light, letting you know, "I will be right there" or tweeting the most exciting thing I have seen in the last two minutes.

I Have A Team, Do You?

I recently made a new friend. Her name is Donya and she is a writer, speaker and a dreamer. We have yet to officially meet but we started emailing after I read a comment from her on Jon Acuff's blog.

As we began emailing about our passions and similar dreams Donya asked me:

"How on Earth did you find other like minded individuals willing to jump on board? (referring to The You Are Project) I have approached several people about the plans I have and no one wants to really jump in with me. I get a lot of applause followed by 'I could never do that but you can do it.' The thing is, no one can tackle something like that on their own. They need a team. You have a team. I'm in awe...And a little jealous :) Tell me your secret!"

This isn't the complete response I sent her but it was my first thought....

My friends are visionaries.

They see what others can't (or choose not to).

My friends are revolutionaries working for a change.

My friends are dreamers, daring to dream.

They are believers and they are go getters.

My friends dare to ask "what if?" and "why?"

My friends don't believe in "impossible".

My friends don't allow themselves (or their dreams) to be put in a box.

My friends give their all to the causes that speak to their cores.

Donya's statement made me so proud! Not proud of myself but proud of my friends. Proud to know such fantastic people. Proud to be one of the "team".

Her statement also really challenged me. I found myself wondering how much responsibility I could take for the fact that I was surrounded by "like minded individuals". Was this something I had intentionally pursued, was it luck or some combination of both?

But out of it all my focus fell on the following statement, "...no one can tackle something like that on their own. They need a team. You have a team." The words, "I have a team" kept repeating in my head.

I have a team! What a relief to know that I'm not in this alone. I have a team! How encouraging to be reminded that there are people who have my back. I have a team! How fantastic it is to know that I am loved. I have a team. Thank God! And then... I have a team.... Do they know how much I love them?

This isn't just about The You Are Project this is about the team of people who support me throughout my life, people who believe in me, pray for me and challenge me. This is about the people who have sacrificed. The people who have been part of making me, me. Without these people, I wouldn't believe in myself. Without these people I wouldn't know how to show myself grace. Without these people, I wouldn't believe in my ability to accomplish the dreams God has placed in my heart. Without these people, my world would be a very dreary place.

If you aren't in the picture, just know it isn't personal.
I LOVE YOU AND APPRECIATE YOU!

Thanks for being on my team!

 
QUESTION TIME: Do you know who is on your team? Are you strategic about building your team? Do you choose who you surround yourself with or just let it happen?

How much time do you spend with your team?

Does your team all think and believe exactly like you or do you have team mates that challenge you and push you forward?

What types of people are on your team? How many negative people are on the team compared to positive?Who has the stronger voice?  Who is easier to listen to, why?

How many of your team mates are dreamers? How many are not? Are you thoughtful about which of these people you share your dreams with?

What is the dynamic between the members of your team? Do they work together and encourage or just coexist?

Do your team mates know you believe in them?

Do they let you know they believe in you? Have you taken the time to thank them?

Do you believe in you? If not, how do you ever expect anyone else to believe in you?

When you truly believe in yourself, you challenge others to believe in themselves.

By the way, I believe in you!! Don't forget it.



Wishes and Whys

Sometimes what life throws at us is beyond unfair. Sometimes the lemons are so sour we can't imagine ever being able to make lemonade out of it. Sometimes it seems life has conquered us and not the other way around.

Six months ago one of my best and oldest friends died of an accidental overdose. I realize many could read this and stereotype her into a certain image in their heads. But Brandi is more than a statistic. She was a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a cousin, a friend and a mother. She can't be defined by the product of her experiences. I will only allow her to be defined by her heart and its actions. Brandi loved, she sacrificed, she dreamed, and she cared.

Brandi and her son, Ethan, the day he was born.

I have found myself asking the question,"why?" a lot over the last six months. "Why did she die? Why, God, didn't you intervene? Why, God, didn't you have a better plan? Why did she take that pill? Why! Why? Why!?" There are so many whys and most of them I pushed aside simply so that I could find a way to continue functioning because there was nothing in me to give to finding answers. There are so many things I don't know and only a few that I do.

I know that I wish I could have told her I loved her just a few more times. I wish I would have hugged her just a little bit longer. I wish I would have called her a thousand more times. I wish I had told her again how incredible she was. I wish I would have known to not take those moments for granted. I wish...I wish...I wish... Tonight I might sit here and write her a birthday letter with everything I wish I had said but it won't do any good because it is too late.

But there's one wish that does still matter and it's everything I wish I could tell you. I wish we would take the focus off ourselves and step out of our bubbles. I wish we would stop worrying what people will think and simply be honest about what we love about each other. I wish we would figure out how to make more time for each other and the memories that will matter. I wish we would hug a little longer. I wish we would tell each other what makes the other so fantastic. I wish we would forgive a little easier and love a lot more. I wish we would see what it is often too late to see.

Go make your friends see what they are worth to the world so you will never have to say, "I wish". And by doing so you will be helping to remove some of the sour from the lemons I'm trying to make into lemonade. And hey, by the way..... I love you! Seriously!

"Life's Like This..."

I have this faint memory from the ninth grade. It was a Thursday in the Fall of 2001. I was in the girls' bathroom of the 800 building at AC Flora High School, a building that I'm pretty sure no longer exists.

This cute, little blond girl started talking to me. We had a class together but I didn't really know her. I was new to the district, new to the town, new to the state and new to the south. Basically, I was just new and I'm sure it was plastered all over me. I was 14 and clueless. Luckily, so was she. After all, who isn't in the ninth grade?

She invited me to go to opening day at the fair that night. I don't remember anything about it but I know we were almost instantly best friends.

One of my favorite memories is the afternoon we got out the video camera and choreographed a music video to Avril Lavigne's "Complicated," complete with costume changes and multiple settings (If I ever find it... I will post it). I swear this song seems to play on the radio much more often since she's been gone and every time I hear it I ache for one more chance to tell her how special she is. But still, I'm thankful to hear it because it gives me the chance to remember her carefree smile and laugh before the world came along with all of its destruction, let downs and heart break.

It's a moment I can look to and rid myself of the haunting memory of the pain that lingered behind each smile in her last few years. A pain that I knew existed and yet failed to find a way to remove.  For a moment, I'm taken back to innocence and ignorance. A time when we still had the chance to achieve every dream we'd ever dreamt. A time when we were responsible for nothing but homework.



*Brandi, saying "Happy Birthday" seems like such a bizarre thing to say today but either way you should know that you aren't forgotten and you are just as loved as ever.*